Gurudwara Guidelines

Don’t worry too much about following these instructions, they are posted for those who like to know what to expect or are curious about the wedding rituals. Hersharon’s family will be nearby to guide you as needed. If in doubt, please be curious and ask!

What to expect at the
Sikh wedding ceremony

Wear non-form fitting clothes that covers your body (short-sleeves are allowed).

A salwaar kameez is a traditional Punjabi outfit for women, but you can opt to wear a shirt, pants, or a long skirt. Wearing a lot of black or white for women is discouraged, but don’t worry if you can’t find something in any other colour. Hats/caps are not permitted. Typically, the color red is reserved for brides.

This is your opportunity to wear traditional Indian clothes if you’ve ever wanted to! Here are some online shops we recommend:

This is also a great opportunity to adorn your hands with henna if you wish! There are likely some great henna or mehendi artists in your city - please support your local artists!

Dress Code

Headcovering: Everyone is asked to cover their heads when entering the gurudwara. Head-kerchiefs will be provided for all guests.

Loose change: Though not necessary, guests are asked to donate small change/bills as an offering before taking their seat in the darbaar, the main hall.

Keep In Mind

Guests take off their shoes, wash their hands, and enter the darbaar (the main hall). Optionally, guests are asked to pay respects to the holy book by bowing down, placing their offering in the donation box, and then taking a seat in the room - the bride’s family sits on the left, and the groom’s family sits on the right. The bride is the last to enter the darbaar. While everyone is paying their respects, a trio of priests is singing shabads (religious hymns).
The groom and bride arrive, sitting at the front, accompanied by close family members.
A fair amount of sitting, listening to classical Punjabi scripture, and songs for the attendees.
Everyone sits on the floor in a Gurudwara, but we will provide chairs for those who require accommodations - just let Hersharon’s family or our bridal party know. Most people sit cross-legged. No one should sit pointing their feet at the Guru Granth Sahib (the holy book). You can leave to use the bathroom etc. as needed and return.
The highlight of the ceremony will be the lavaan, where the groom and bride circle the holy book four times.

-The first laav emphasizes on the duty towards family and the community.
-The second laav signifies the stage of yearning and love for each other.
-The third laav stresses on the stage of detachment from the world.
-The fourth laav signifies the final stage of harmony and union in marriage wherein the love between the couple blends into the love for God.

After the fourth laav is recited, another hymn is sung to mark the marital union, and a final ardaas is performed by the head priest with the entire congregation, including the newlyweds. During the ardaas, the congregation is asked to stand up and fold their hands in prayer to bless the newlyweds. This concludes the wedding ceremony.
Towards the end of the service, a priest hands out karah prasad, a sweet vegetarian food that has been blessed. This should be taken and received in cupped hands out of respect. Ask for very little if you’re unsure as it should not be denied or put in the trash since it’s blessed. If you don’t want it, please wrap it up in a napkin and consult one of Hersharon’s family members. That being said, most people who’ve tried it for the first time like it - it’s sweet, and consists of flour, sugar, and clarified butter.
The parents and relatives of the bride share their blessings with the married couple, and give them shagun (money or symbolic gifts).
Everyone can then make their way into the adjoining hall for lunch.
All done! Thank you for attending and being curious. You can now go to your home/hotel, or visit the nearby mountains for an afternoon hike. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow at our Ring and Vow Exchange.